Monday, July 24, 2017

Go Ahead: Hold your baby!!!

OK. I am just putting this out there for any new moms who might be feeling mom guilt (it's everywhere!).

Before I had my first son I didn't think too much about the snuggles. After he was born, he needed lots of snuggles. And I wanted to hold him and snuggle and bond as much as possible. I felt guilty about this. People made me feel guilty about this (he is almost 4 now and he had no troubles adjusting to full time daycare or daycare naps at 13 months). 

When I had my second son I felt physically and mentally compelled to continue the snuggles, although it is a bit different as all babies have their own needs. Again, I was feeling like this must be a problem. 

Then, I had an epiphany. I was being so foolish. If I am lucky, I might live to see my babies reach 55 or 60. Of those 60 years, there will only be one....ONE where I can cuddle and snuggle my babies as much as I want to and as much as they want to. Why would I feel like I am doing something wrong by spending this special time with my baby? Have I ever said to myself, "gee, I wish I had alphabetized my cookbooks when Boy #1 was a baby instead of cuddling him". No!! Have I ever thought "wow I really hugged Boy #1 too much as an infant "?  NO!!!

More and more research is showing the benefits of lots of physical touch for infants.  You cannot spoil an infant!!! (Although you can spoil a child - but not from cuddles!).  I never wore either of my kids, but I feel like I sort of did for the first three months just from holding and cuddling them.  It is hard to explain how I felt compelled to be close to them.  It wasn't a philosophy I adopted - it just felt like it was what I needed and what they needed.  I also - brace yourselves - rocked Boy #1 to sleep every night until he was just over a year old.  He needed it.  Boy #2 has not been rocked to sleep one single time.  It's not his thing.

It is sad that everyone tries to tell other moms what to do.  New moms should feel confident.  If it is working for you and your baby - embrace it!  Love it!  Don't listen to the sanctimommies.  
Babies need our love and every mom(and dad) has their own way of bonding and communicating with their child. All that to say - new moms do not feel guilty about snuggling your wee ones. This opportunity will not come again.


  1. I must disagree and offer encouragement. The snuggles do not stop if you start them early. They just change in how you do it. My three sons are now grown and gone but when they return, we still pile up on the couch and "flop" all over each other. Last December when all three were home at the same time, I quietly observed the younger (23) leaning against the older (28) while the middle son (25) had his feet propped on the youngest. They were all working on their computers. As I watched, I noticed they would all suddenly laugh at the same time without any words being spoken. Confused, I asked what was happening, they were texting each other!!!!! "Can't you just talk since you are only inches apart?" I asked. They all three looked at me like I was from outer space. I didn't get it, but they did.

    Enjoy them now while they are little, but enjoy them just as much when they are older.

    Jeannie @

  2. Jeannie, this is a testament to what a wonderful mother you must be!! I love my boys so much - I just hope that I am being a good mom to them. I hope they still want to hug me when they are in their 20s! Thanks for your words of encouragement.